How to fall in love during the fall. Everyone that knows me know that fall is my favorite time of year. It is a season for falling in love. I know that sounds strange, but for me, this time of the year, I’m more sentimental, reflective and definitely more into my feelings. As with many mammals its time to prepare for the winter. Wintering means that life begins to slow down and before that happens there are some key things that need to place in order to endure winter.
Luckily, most of us don’t have to do much in planning for the winter beyond going to the attic, basement or second closet to retrieve winter clothes to prepare for winter. But, I’ve chosen to prepare my heart for winter. So each year, I try to do something different to fall in love again.
There are so many good reason why to purposely choose a time of year to fall in love. I know that there are many of you who say if you are married should be in love anyway or that if you can choose a time to fall in love why not choose all 12 months rather than one season. I get that. I’m not suggesting fall out of love and find a season to be in love. You can love the entire year, but chose a season to “fall.” Trust me, I’m in love with my husband the entire year (at least for the last 3 years) but there is something in me each year that springs to life with us during the fall. We are more open to each others ideas, we listen differently and our quality time has more QUALITY. This is just our unique prescription for our relationship. Yours may be different.
There are so many health benefits to being in a long-term relationship. Did you know that there is research that shows couples have a better sense of well-being and live longer than the single and divorced? Having a loving support system makes the challenges of life more sustainable. Couples who have decades of years under their marriage belt will tell you that living with a spouse has contributed more positively in their overall sense of health than a life alone.
Marriage is not without its ebbs and flows. After many years of dating or marriage, the newness wears off and you settle to a more comfortable existence.
Even the most happiest of couples experience this. After several seasons or years of this many couples find themselves in despair. You know why? They haven’t planned for this. We all enter relationships thinking/hoping that it will be like this forever. You know what I mean? You remember, the excitement of a phone call, the heart that flutters when you see one another, the I can’t live without you moments, and the many nights of falling the sleep on the phone talking. We characterize all of this as “in love.”
After many years in a relationship, a spouse or significant other can feel just like another piece of furniture in the room. Some people grow apart, some have dedicated too much time with the kids and neglected the relationship or the of love. Here’s where in the fall you fall back in love:
The first thing I do is change the atmosphere. I change my bedroom. I take off summer or spring bedding to something more romantic. Let’s face it my crisp white summer duvet doesn’t scream romance. While it’s pretty and inviting during the summer this is not the look I’m looking for in the fall. Changing the linen to something that promotes cuddling is my where my head is at. A simple rearranging of the furniture makes a statement so this fall, I chose very fluffy thick pillows and very 1200 thread comforter set(my other addiction). Can you say whoo-sah? The look on my husband face when he came home to see a revised bedroom said, girl you on point this fall. The darker tones created the ambiance I was looking for.
So this fall, I have decorated in colors of fall like burgundy, orange, green, teal and brown trust me romance is in the air. Next, I made or purchased fragrances the evoke mood. Because I’m a formulator, I create candles and air-fresheners that create romance. I created a scent called serenity which has deep notes of vanilla, jasmine, cherry, frankincense, myrrh and cinnamon which doubles as linen fragrance and room fragrance. You guys know that I love essential oils. Did you know that we have essential oils that are not only healthy, but romantical? (spelling intended)
My love affair with essentials began a long time ago, but when I got my husband on board it became magical. Burning essential oils create a peace in your home that you will not discover the benefits until you look back and think, wow, when did this much peace exist in my home. This is what my hubby discovered when he noticed that our relationship had deepened into this abiding kind of love for each other. If I do not have essential oils for his steam shower, mister can get a little cranky. I can’t speak enough about how essentials oil create a loving kindness in you when they are used regularly and in your home. A healthy home is a happy home.
With our busy schedules, my husband and I decided to dedicate an hour to hearing about each others day two years ago. I struggle with this for the first six months. An hour was such a long time. But, when we get off schedule, I’m the first one to notice and miss it. Initially, we said that during this time we would not answer the phone, watch TV or play with the dog. We’ve slipped throughout the year, but not during the fall. We both have admitted that this one hour together strengthen our bond and that we look forward to it and it becomes our respite when the day has beat us up or petty arguments linger. We often label this time, our growing old moments. As I reflect on this, we’ve grown older together and moments like these are when I fall in love with him all over again the most.
My most recent edition to falling in love during the fall is music. Now, I could really go places in my head when it comes to music. Words are my biggest aphrodisiac. I’m addicted to them and I love them in sentences. LOL. But, music makes my heart grow fonder. I’m learning to live life outside of my own head when I listen to the heart of others through music. I didn’t realize that until recently, that when I first dated my husband, we played music all the time and especially for mood setting. Why did we stop? I’ve found some wonderful jazz that my husband loves that I can play on a non-football night.(pick your battles) I don’t do this just for him, but it is beautiful when I’m home alone waiting for him. I love being in love. Fall is for falling in love.
During this fall in love season, I have less headaches, my anxiety is reduced to virtually non-existent and I’m more happy to myself and to others. I work out more which boosts my immune system, and I become more accepting of others during this time because I don’t just fall in love with him, I also fall deeper in love with mankind and God. Sounds crazy too, but it really is my truth. I’m more connected to God during these times. I’m sure the holidays have a lot to do with it. But, I can go on and on about why to fall in love during the fall. So join me!